


Countdown to Inevitable

by deceptive_serenade



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baking, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deceptive_serenade/pseuds/deceptive_serenade
Summary: It was the first snowfall of the season when Scorpius Malfoy entered Rose Weasley’s bakery, Cake Witch. She hadn’t seen him in ten years—and she had flour all over her. Lovely.(Holiday Scorose, a little angsty, a little fluffy.)
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy & Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley
Comments: 48
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

It was the first snowfall of the season when Scorpius Malfoy entered Rose Weasley's bakery, Cake Witch. The bell at the door gave a gentle _ding_ as he entered, his thick billowy cloak sweeping around his shins and his boots a soft _tap-tap_ on the welcome mat. There was enough snow that it was even visible through his white-blond hair, stuck out at all angles from the wind.

Rose hadn't seen him in ten years.

And she had _flour_ all over her.

There was a rush of heat to her cheeks—always rounder than she wished they were, but that's just what came with the territory of baking cookies for a living—and Rose resisted a very strong urge to duck around the counter and hide in the kitchen. It was late for a bakery, nearly five in the evening, and she'd already sent her assistant home twenty minutes ago. Rose hastily dusted off her apron, making barely a difference at all by the time Scorpius met her gaze and froze.

"Rose?" he said, sounding strangled. "You work here?"

She realized she was holding her breath, and let it out quietly. "It's mine."

"I—wow." He shuffled up to the display case, looking around at the few lone loaves of bread on the shelf, the massive fire ovens still lit behind her, the espresso machine in the corner and the crumbs of sweets and pastries left behind from what had been sold that day. "It looks just like you imagined."

"Yeah." Rose swallowed a lump in her throat. "I mean… this was always the plan, right?"

"Right, right." Scorpius pulled off his gloves only to stuff his hands into his pockets. Rose noticed a large paper bag dangled from his arm. "I was just finishing my Christmas shopping."

"Shop in Hogsmeade often?"

"Yeah, I, er…" He scratched at the back of his head. "I've been at Hogwarts. I'm taking over ol' Sluggy's job this year."

"I heard he retired last year," Rose said, looking back down to the dough she'd been rolling out. Last she'd heard, Scorpius had gone into Magical Law; how he'd somehow veered into being a _Potions_ professor, she didn't know.

And the fact that he'd been _this close_ for a year and a half threw her off in a way she hadn't expected.

"I assisted him last year," Scorpius explained. "Took over in September."

"Hmm." She picked up the rolling pin. A few moments of silence passed, the crinkling from the baking paper filling the space before she looked up again. Scorpius still seemed flushed from the cold, and he was looking expectantly at her.

"Are you looking for something in particular?"

"I haven't been here before," he said needlessly, glancing around again. "I thought I could just pick something up."

"It was a busy day," she replied with an off-hand gesture to her mostly empty display cases. "I've been up since five in the morning. This is what's left."

"Seems like I missed the rush."

"Indeed." She paused, searching his expression. "You're looking for gingerbread, aren't you?"

His cheeks flushed deeper. "The house elves at Hogwarts are upset with me."

"Oh?" she asked, but he didn't explain, suddenly seeming very interested in the last pumpkin pasty in the display.

Rose used a pair of steel tongs to pluck it into a paper bag. "Two sickles."

He traded the coins for the pastry. "When will you have gingerbread cookies next?"

"I bake them every day of December. High demand."

"I suppose I'll be back, then." Scorpius hesitated. "Is that all right?"

Rose gave a noncommittal shrug, attempting to dust off the flour from her front again. She'd always imagined seeing Scorpius again where it seemed like she hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about him. Which was _mostly_ true, barring the first year after graduation. She might've indulged in a quick fantasy of their reunion, perhaps taking place at an event where she looked fantastic and would subtly be able to give him the cold shoulder.

She never imagined their reunion might be in her _shop_. And she couldn't ask him to very well leave, could she?

"It's a bit early for Christmas shopping, isn't it?" she asked instead.

"The post will be mad later on. I'm getting a head start."

Rose nodded. He'd always been one to plan ahead. It seemed he was sending his gifts, rather than seeing his relatives in person. She hid her surprise the best she could, reaching for a snowman cookie cutter; he was quite close to his family, in a way that made her a little jealous.

He certainly cared for them far more than he'd ever cared for her.

So why wasn't Scorpius going home for the holidays?

"I'd better head back before this gets worse," Scorpius said, looking warily at the snowfall rushing past the frosted window. He placed the pastry carefully in his bag before pulling his gloves from his pockets. "You should, too."

"I'm closing in ten minutes," she said, not bothering to mention she lived upstairs. Even if she wasn't venturing outside, all she wanted to do was wrap herself up in her blankets with some hot tea and biscuits.

"And you'll have gingerbread tomorrow?"

"I can't guarantee it won't sell out."

"You can't?" he asked, and when she glanced up, he was smiling. Something flipped in her chest.

"No," she said defiantly.

"For an old friend?"

Rose chuckled despite herself; they'd been a bit more than _friends,_ hadn't they? "I'll see what I can do."

"Great." He paused, half-turned to leave. "You look well."

"I am." Her voice was quieter than she intended, but that didn't make it any less true. He smiled at her again, in the way he always had—warmly, intensely, like she was the only one he ever smiled for.

And then he was gone with a hand raised in goodbye, a jingle from the door, a gust of chilly wind that made her shiver despite the fact that the oven was still lit behind her. Rose blew out a long breath, trying to ignore how hard her heart had been beating that entire time, pulsing like she'd been sprinting, aching like she was out of oxygen.

Like she could ignore how it hadn't beat that hard for anyone else. Ever.

* * *

_Rose really wished Scorpius would go back to the Slytherin Common Room._

_She'd hung out with him in the kitchens more times than she could count, and while she was fine with sharing her safe space, she wished just that once that he wasn't there. There wasn't a single place in the castle that she could go to be alone._

_And they were friends, she supposed, in a way neither of them could acknowledge but both knew was true. They would chat quietly and do their essays as the elves scurried around them, preparing dinners or cleaning up after meals. It had become a routine over the years, though they hardly said hello outside the dungeons._

_Rose was dreading the inevitable, and even as Scorpius merely dragged his chair back and sat at the table beside her, she could sense there wasn't a chance he would let this drop._

" _What happened?" As expected, he was immediately transfixed on her puffy nose and red eyes. "You look…"_

" _I know." She stared at a dent in the wooden table. "Don't ask."_

_He looked confused, but up until then, nothing about their conversations strayed very far from Quidditch, chess games and classes. Maybe there was a flirtatious moment or two, but there was rumour that Scorpius was taking Melanie Nott to Hogsmeade. Not to mention that Rose's father would be furious if he knew how she felt. She kept the distance for a reason._

_And then Scorpius scooched his chair right next to her, dropped an arm around her shoulder and crossed whatever line that had been there._

" _I have one question." Rose raised an eyebrow at him and he continued, "Will this be fixed with brownies, or do I have to punch someone?"_

_She shrugged him off. "Okay, it's not that bad. I'm probably overreacting."_

" _Brownies, then," he replied, standing._

_When he came back from speaking to the elves, he was holding a plate with a tiny pile of Rose's favourite peppermint brownies and another plate with treacle tart. He didn't move his chair away when he sat back down._

" _Thanks," she said, grabbing a promising one with white chocolate chunks sticking out at all angles. "You're probably right about these."_

" _They never serve enough dessert at dinner," he muttered as he began rooting through his bag for his books. "Are you going to tell me what happened, or are we just going to study?"_

_Impatient as ever._

" _I didn't do too well on that last essay," she confessed, biting into her brownie. "And with O.W.L.s coming up…"_

" _It's September. O.W.L.s aren't until the end of the year," he opposed. "Was this the Defense essay?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _That one was impossible. I spent ages on it and got an Acceptable." Scorpius peered at her as she suddenly avoided his gaze. "What—you got lower?"_

_Rose's cheeks went hot. It was one thing to get a low grade, but to disclose it to someone she might fancy a tiny little bit? It was a touch more than humiliating._

" _I got a P," she admitted, voice small._

" _Oh." He considered this. "Well, that isn't so bad. It's not a Dreadful or Troll."_

_She nudged him in the side. "Getting a T isn't real."_

" _Wanna bet?"_

_Rose snorted and took out her books. "I just need to study harder. The more I study, the less chance I have of blanking during the O.W.L.s."_

" _You study harder than any of us."_

" _I could do better."_

" _Bullshit," he disagreed, tugging on her sleeve so she would look at him. His eyes were bright and grey and earnest. "You sit there for hours and hours, way longer than anyone else. I bet you study at night in your dormitory, don't you?"_

" _I… I can't focus." She settled her gaze between his eyebrows. "I keep thinking about how I'm going to fail. Over and over."_

_He didn't answer, and the mortification crept up her neck again. She was finding it particularly difficult to focus for an entirely different reason._

" _I'll get it eventually," she assured, flipping open the assigned reading in her textbook. "It just takes longer."_

_Scorpius tugged on her sleeve again and she met his gaze again. His fingers played around her wrist, almost like he wanted to hold her hand, but settled for the little lightning bolts sparking through her skin. "You could focus on something else."_

" _Like what?"_

" _I bet you couldn't beat me in the next one," he said casually, almost smirking._

_He ignited her indignation immediately. "I always get higher grades than you."_

" _Not this last time." And even though it should've felt like a blow, he was grinning and it just made her laugh. "Maybe this is my shot at becoming the best student in school."_

" _Fat chance, Malfoy." And even though she knew he wasn't serious, Rose straightened and tugged her book closer. "I've got this."_

_He nudged her elbow knowingly and stole a brownie from her plate. "Bring it on."_

* * *

A/N: Hello! So this started off as a holiday one-shot, got _way_ too long and then I missed the Christmas "deadline"... not to mention, it's a bit angsty haha. So I thought I'd post it in parts while it's still the season.

I hope you're all having a safe and lovely holiday so far :)


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

The next time Scorpius came into the shop, it was in the middle of an afternoon rush. Despite the line out the door, he was able to squeeze through and take residence at one of the tiny tables in the shop. At the quickest glance over the busy espresso machine, Rose was able to see his quill scratching away in a thick notebook.

When the line cleared up and she was cleaning off the counters, Scorpius approached the till with a sheepish smile on his face.

"You're late," she said, only half-joking.

"I know, I know." Scorpius glanced back at his table where Rose first noticed a student—couldn't be more than a third year—who was also sitting at the table, hunched over and reading a book. "I mentioned to Professor Longbottom that I was heading back to Hogsmeade today and got roped into taking her for an emergency trip. Needed something for class."

"Ah." Rose wiped her hands before grabbing her tongs. "At least you're earlier than yesterday."

"Any gingerbread left?"

"At least a dozen," she reassured.

"I'll take them all. Whatever's there."

Rose paused. "You haven't even tried them."

"It's gingerbread. I know what it tastes like."

"You don't know my current recipe," she reasoned, trying not to laugh. "What if I put something strange in there? Or liquorice?"

Scorpius looked at her in horror. "You didn't, did you?"

"No," she admitted, more pleased than she was comfortable with, and began to gather the cookies in a box. He was shaking his head and muttering under his breath—" _Liquorice_ in gingerbread, my arse"—when his student bounded over, book against her chest.

"Professor M," she said, bouncing on her heels, "I know this isn't a Hogsmeade trip, but could I still get something? It smells amazing in here."

Scorpius shrugged, and with a beam, she began scanning through the display cases, hands pressed against the glass eagerly.

"Do all your students like you that much?" Rose asked, watching her in amusement.

He grinned and didn't reply.

She could feel her assistant's (and best friend) eyes from the back room, kneading dough and surely preparing for interrogation. Rose focused on preparing their order, grabbing a spiced cake from the case for the student and steaming two hot chocolates to go.

"So," Rose began as Scorpius rooted his pockets for the coins, "you really like teaching, don't you?"

"More than I thought I would, yeah." He held up his notebook. "I've been planning out lessons."

"Is that why you're not going home for the holidays?"

Scorpius dropped a sickle in surprise, and it spun on the countertop. "You're too smart for your own good."

She shrugged. He'd said that so many times that even years later, it no longer stung.

He glanced over his shoulder, but his student was near the door, chomping contentedly on her doughnut. "No, it's not because of my students. I stopped going home years ago."

Rose wanted to ask why, but it felt too intrusive. Instead, she busied herself in counting his coins.

"How long are you open?" he asked. "Are you closing for the holidays?"

"No, we're open year-round," she replied, shutting the till drawer noisily. "Short hours on Christmas and New Year's."

When he didn't reply immediately, she looked up. He looked concerned. "You're serious?"

"Yes." Her family routinely had issues with this, but Rose had always been a bit of a black sheep among her family members. She was never as outgoing, she was Sorted into Hufflepuff and though they accepted her career choice, they didn't understand it. As much as she loved them, she always felt their relationship thrived on short doses.

"I guess I'll be dropping by again," he said cautiously, as though she would tell him to stay away. (She'd considered it, but beyond it being unprofessional, she'd never been that petty.) "Provided these are satisfactory, of course."

"I told you to try it first."

He paused, and she knew that smile so well it ached. "I know there's no liquorice in these."

"Oh?"

"If your baking is anything like it was at Hogwarts, it's going to be fantastic." He leaned in to whisper, even though his student was well out of earshot. "I trust you."

Rose stared at his back as he left, wondering how it was possible, how he could say it so casually and _in what world_ could they ever trust each other again.

* * *

" _You have a problem."_

" _It's only an addiction if I say it is."_

" _That's not how it works, Scorpius."_

 _By the time it was Christmas of her sixth year, bickering with Scorpius had long since become one of her favourite pastimes, along with baking. Ever since Rose learned to bake gingerbread cookies, Scorpius had been badgering her non-stop to make them. It was getting to the point where she was sneaking off every weekend, bothering the elves into letting her use a corner of the kitchens for her mess. It_ was _fun, she had to admit, but it prompted pestering from various family and friends whenever she disappeared._

_And ever since Scorpius had helped her get her mojo back in classes and thoroughly encouraged baking to relieve stress, they'd been closer than ever. It was always easy to be around him—he was generally quite popular, especially when he made the Quidditch team in third year—but this was different._

_Not that anyone would know, of course._

" _They're just so good," Scorpius defended, leaning back in his chair, homework forgotten. "Gingerbread cookies define Christmas."_

" _So get the elves to make them," Rose said, gesturing to the busy little creatures just a few metres away._

" _They don't make them like you. Besides, I won't get any for two whole_ weeks _."_

_Rose laughed._

" _You're going home for Christmas, then?" Rose asked, somewhat pointlessly. He always went home for the holidays, no exceptions._

_Scorpius seemed to deflate. "Yeah."_

" _You seem extremely excited."_

" _I am." He threw his quill down on the table and began rolling up his parchment. "I miss home. It's just my family can be… well…"_

" _Family time is always a little difficult," Rose said good-humouredly._

" _I do love them," he assured, "but they're always bugging me to make a good impression for our family name. And I've done my best, but it's never enough, you know?"_

_Rose knew. She'd heard her father ranting about the Malfoy family on more than one occasion—not that she'd ever tell Scorpius this. But besides her father's long-lasting grudge, most people in their year didn't care about his name, especially as Scorpius had an easy charm about him._

" _Your grades are up," she pointed out encouragingly, "and you won the last game against Gryffindor."_

" _True."_

" _My cousin Albus hasn't stopped whining about it."_

" _Anyway," he said decidedly, stuffing his things in his bag, "I really think you should make more cookies. Just a last,_ giant _batch for me, and I won't ask anymore."_

_Rose considered this. "Could that be my Christmas gift to you?"_

" _Absolutely."_

" _Okay," she agreed, and his eyes lit with his wide grin. She would've made them—and had done so—just for that look._

_Scorpius watched her pack up her things. "What about you? Going home?"_

" _Yeah," she replied, "and I've decided I'm not going to show my mum what my mark was on that essay."_

" _Good," he said, understanding immediately._

" _I don't have to tell her_ everything. _"_

" _Exactly. I sure as hell don't." He laughed. "My parents would be thrilled if I had your marks. Or even close to them."_

" _Clearly I haven't been a good influence on you," she said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Scorpius laughed again, and to her surprise, he followed her out of the kitchens._

 _Rose glanced around the empty dungeon halls before climbing out of the portrait hole. No one was ever around that time of night, and while her friendship with Scorpius wasn't a_ secret _, per se, it wasn't common knowledge. The friend in question seemed wholly unconcerned, stuffing his hands in his pockets and striding out openly._

" _Wait," he said as they approached the Hufflepuff Common Room, gently taking her wrist. Surprising her for the second time that night, he pulled her around the corner and into a small alcove beside a staircase._

" _Everything all right?" she asked nervously, shifting the strap of her bag on her shoulder._

_Scorpius seemed equally nervous. "I don't have a gift for you."_

" _Oh, it's not necessary—I was honestly joking—"_

" _I know," he said quickly, "and I did look for something, but nothing felt quite right, and…" He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I dunno."_

" _It really is okay," she said softly. "I wasn't expecting anything."_

" _I know." Then he was in her space, his hand on the maroon curls against her jaw. "I'm going to miss you."_

_For the first time, she felt like the distance between them stretched on forever, even though they'd never been this close before. He was leaning in, inching in, eyes on her lips, Rose lifting on her toes to meet him—and then she rolled back on her heels, breath tight in her throat._

" _You went to Hogsmeade with Melanie," she said, voice so quiet she barely heard it herself._

" _I don't fancy her," he whispered immediately. His eyes were wide, anxious. "Fuck, I knew this would—my mother nagged me to ask her."_

" _Oh." And Rose understood immediately, her subconscious thoughts coming to surface in explanation for the gnawing in her belly ever since she'd heard about Scorpius and Melanie. Because they would look good together. Because they had things in common. Because their families were friends._

_Because they made sense._

_And even if Rose didn't make sense to Scorpius, he closed the distance and kissed her anyway._

* * *

A/N: Back with part two! Hope you're enjoying this so far. :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Absolutely everything was going wrong.

It began with sleeping through her alarm until Elizabeth Smith, her assistant and best friend, pounded at the door of her flat when Rose was supposed to be at work. Behind on all the morning preparations, Rose both started the coffee late _and_ managed to burn it seconds before the morning rush began.

By the time she saw Hogwarts students trickling through, dragging muddy snowy slush into the shop, Rose and Elizabeth were thoroughly sweaty and flustered.

There was some reprieve in that their regulars knew a Hogsmeade trip for Hogwarts students meant the increased workload, so they weren't dealing with too many customers waiting on their loaves of bread. Rose was thankful that Scorpius had mentioned a Hogwarts weekend on his last trip into the bakery; she'd managed to freeze just enough dough and batters in preparation for the young hoard of students with more than one sweet tooth.

When Scorpius entered her shop, Rose strode past without looking at him to lock the door.

"Tough day?" he asked as she flipped the ' _Closed for Lunch!'_ sign at the front.

"You have no idea," Elizabeth answered from behind the counter. Although at first confused—she and Rose had been friends during Hogwarts, but Rose never told her about Scorpius, ever—she accepted Rose's feeble explanation of why Scorpius would come into the shop every weekend and flirt with her.

For now, anyway.

"Your students can be little shits sometimes," Rose mumbled, dropping onto a chair and summoning her coffee mug, now cold. The sight of the mud and puddles around her shop were giving her a headache. " _Cute_ little shits, but…"

"Couldn't agree more, honestly," Scorpius said, sitting at the opposite side of her table.

"I slept in this morning," Rose admitted after a long sip of coffee. "I somehow slept through my alarm, and then everything just went wrong. We weren't even that late, but somehow the time just slipped away from me."

"That's because she never lets me open," Elizabeth called over from where she was putting gingerbread cookies in a cardboard box. "A dozen of these all right?"

Scorpius ignored her question. "What do you mean, Rose never lets you open?"

"She doesn't," Elizabeth reiterated, putting a dozen cookies in the box anyway. "Rose works from five in the morning to five in the evening. Even I just get here at six-thirty and I hardly stick around for the end of the day."

"Hardly anyone comes in after four," Rose mumbled into her mug, "especially now that the sun sets so early."

Scorpius eyed her carefully. "The twelve-hour days must be exhausting."

"I manage."

"I've been voting that we close Mondays and Tuesdays after the morning coffee rush," Elizabeth put in, coming around and placing the box on the table in front of Scorpius. "I never come in on those days anyway. That's a galleon, Malfoy."

"Some of our regulars come in," Rose argued as Scorpius handed over the gold coin.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "They're regulars. They'll come in when we're open."

"It's out of the question."

"Then we need to hire someone else."

"We're doing _fine._ " Rose rubbed her face as Elizabeth stomped over to the back kitchens. "Sorry about that, Scorpius."

"Arguing in front of customers?" he joked, but it still made her wince inside. "I think Elizabeth might have a point, though."

"It's difficult to find good workers," she said tiredly. "We've tried hiring in the past. It usually hasn't worked out."

"Elizabeth seems to disagree."

"I own the shop, so I make the final decisions. She prefers it that way, most of the time."

"I see," he said, expression carefully blank.

"It'll be fine," Rose repeated, glancing at the back where Elizabeth was warming her lunch. "Elizabeth's always gone for Christmas week and I manage it then, too."

" _Alone?_ "

"'Tis the season, I suppose."

There was a moment of silence. Scorpius seemed to be torn between impressed and alarmed. She waited for a response, but instead, he opened the box of cookies and took one out.

She narrowed her eyes at him. " _What?_ "

"Nothing."

"Just say it, Scorpius."

"Well," he said lightly, "it's just… some things never change, do they?"

"What d'you mean?"

Scorpius broke the cookie in half and offered it to Rose. "You're a workaholic."

She stared at him, his outstretched hand and the dismembered gingerbread. "A what?"

"Work-A-Hol-Lic." He shook the cookie at her and she took it. "Actually, this really feels great to get off my chest. I've been wanting to say that since second year."

" _Excuse me?_ " she demanded, flabbergasted. "I'm not a workaholic, I just work hard— _just enough_ to do what I need to do. That's why my bakery is still standing. That's why I have _everything_ in my life, because of my work ethic."

Scorpius bit into his cookie and shrugged.

"I'm not a workaholic!" she repeated loudly.

He leaned in. "Then have lunch with me."

"No," she said in reflex, flustered instantly.

"You used to study yourself into the ground," he reminded her, something like concern crossing his expression. "Remember all those times I made sure you ate or slept?"

Rose tried to pretend as though her cheeks weren't burning. "Yes. I also seem to remember that _someone_ kept distracting me."

That had the opposite effect than she was intending, because now Scorpius was grinning.

"Stop," she said crossly, tossing the cookie in her mouth.

"I'm not doing anything." Scorpius sat back in his chair and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Listen, I'm just saying that you look pretty exhausted, and maybe closing for Christmas would be a good idea. Maybe you could even let Elizabeth open a few days a week."

"And _you_ look lonely," she bit out, staring at the wooden lines across the table, "but I wasn't going to throw it in your face."

His smile disappeared.

Rose groaned as he stood. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I deserved it," he admitted, picking up his box, "and you're not wrong."

"Scorpius—"

"But I wasn't wrong either."

The apology lodged itself in her throat as he left, still tight and thick when Elizabeth took his seat a minute later. How Scorpius had managed to come back into her life one minute and then challenge her the next was beyond her understanding. As much as Scorpius could make her heart feel like it was gasping for life, he broke it just as easily.

"So," Elizabeth said expectantly.

Rose buried her face in her hands. "Liz. Please."

"Second year, he said?" Elizabeth asked, digging her fork into her leftover pasta. "Seems like we've been friends much longer than that, but no mention of a certain Malfoy."

"I know," Rose mumbled, keeping her eyes closed. "We were friends for a long time, then we were sort of dating, and then we broke up when we graduated."

When Rose looked up, Elizabeth looked very confused. "You were friends-slash-dating. At _Hogwarts_. And you didn't tell anyone—not even me?"

"Nope," she confirmed weakly.

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "You need to tell me everything."

"I wanted, to…" _But he wouldn't let me._ "It's private."

"We're not talking about this for me, Rose," Elizabeth corrected warmly, giving her a smile with far too much pity—or, possibly, sympathy. "It's for you _._ "

* * *

_Rose could tell that Scorpius had entered the kitchens, but she was writing so quickly that she couldn't look up for a second unless she wanted to smudge her ink. He was trying to be patient, she could tell, but he only lasted a minute or two before tugging on her sleeve._

" _Hey, stop for just a minute," Scorpius said gently._

" _Can't. O.W.L.s are in two months."_

" _Do you have a countdown on a calendar or something?"_

" _Something like that." Rose's hand cramped, and she put her quill down to stretch it out. Scorpius was trying not to smile, and she stuck out her tongue._

" _How was your Easter break?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist._

" _It was all right. Got a long lecture from Mum to study, even though I've been studying since the summer." Rose let him pull her closer, though not too close; she always felt a little weird with P.D.A. around the elves, who felt like her friends. "How about yours?"_

" _It was all right. My parents were bugging me to study, too."_

" _I missed you," she said quietly, making him chuckle._

" _I missed you too." He snuck a quick kiss. "So much."_

" _Did you tell them?"_

_Scorpius pulled away immediately, and Rose hid her wince. Telling their parents about each other had been a point of tension between them. Although she understood why, the logical part of her couldn't help but want to see if they could work though that obstacle. Perhaps, just maybe, their families could get along._

_Scorpius didn't seem to think of it that way._

" _I didn't," he said slowly, examining her closely. "Did you?"_

" _I said I would wait until you did." Rose chewed her lip. "Do you think we should wait for longer?"_

_He exhaled in relief. "Yes. Maybe… our first anniversary?"_

" _Oh." Rose felt caught off-guard by this. That still felt a long time away—more than six months. "But we'll have summer break in between."_

" _I know."_

" _We can't even write to each other." Rose recalled how it felt to not speak to Scorpius for two weeks over the winter break, when their relationship was brand-new. It was a bit less than torture._

 _How would she last two_ months?

" _I know," Scorpius repeated sadly. "Have you been studying all evening?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _Come on, I want to show you something."_

_Despite Rose's protests of curfew approaching, Scorpius dragged her away from her books and outside. He found a secluded spot by the bridge where they could curl up on the grass. It was a beautiful, warm spring night, even though they couldn't quite see the stars._

" _Maybe I needed the fresh air more than I thought," Rose admitted, and Scorpius put an arm around her._

" _My parents said that I need to get a good number of O.W.L.s," he said, tucking his chin on her shoulder. "They want me to do magical law. Become a lawyer."_

" _Lawyer?" Rose was surprised. As much as Scorpius would probably do that well, he really wasn't the investigative or studious type. "Is that what you want?"_

" _I don't know what I want." He poked his nose in her hair. "What was it your mother wanted you to do again?"_

" _Same as her. Law enforcement, Ministry of Magic sort of thing." Rose paused, leaning into him. "I've been dreaming of something else. Just as an idea."_

" _Tell me."_

" _I really love baking." He grinned against her skin, but she kept going. "I know it started out as just this stress relieving thing, but I've never felt so connected to something. I want to learn how to do more, and all the transfiguration for the magical treats. Maybe come up with some of my own."_

" _You should do it," Scorpius said, looking very pleased. "Where would you go to learn all that?"_

" _Probably France, which isn't far." She turned to look at him. "This is so far off in the future, but… it would be lovely to own a place one day. Bake loaves of bread, pies, pastries, cookies… everything. Especially cakes, though. Maybe even serve a little tea or coffee."_

" _Your own shop?"_

" _Would that be crazy?" she asked, anxious all of a sudden. "To open a bakery?"_

" _Not at all." He nuzzled her neck and kissed her there, and somehow, it was both calming and electrifying. "I love it. I can't wait to see your bakery one day."_

_That was the moment she understood, and it was less like a strike of lightning and more like something she realized after knowing it all along: Rose was completely in love with him._

_And they were a secret._

_She didn't want to ruin it, but she couldn't stop it from tumbling out. "Why doesn't anyone know about us?"_

_The smile slipped from his lips. "Why would you want people to know?"_

" _Why wouldn't I?"_

" _That you're dating an ex-Death Eater's son?"_

_There was a pause, and it was painful._

" _No one thinks that." Rose was being mostly honest. There were a couple of people who still thought that, including her father._

_And, it seemed, including Scorpius himself._

" _Hey," she said, frowning and kissing the top of his cheekbone, "we don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to."_

" _I do want to," he insisted, but she sensed easily how he couldn't explain further. He shook his head and squeezed her waist. "We have to tell them one day. Of course."_

" _Yes."_

" _It's going to be an absolute shit storm." He locked her gaze with his. "But we're going to do it together."_

" _We are. Like our revision," she joked, attempting to lighten the mood. "We'd better get back. I still have two hours of revision to finish before midnight."_

_Scorpius watched her as she stood. "You're always going to overwork, aren't you?"_

" _Hmm?" she hummed absent-mindedly, grabbing her bag._

_He stood and pecked her cheek. "Never mind."_

* * *

A/N: Here is chapter three, and I hope you enjoyed it! I think there are seven in total...? Don't hold me to that. :P


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Scorpius returned to the bakery a week before Christmas, the day most Hogwarts students went home for the holidays and probably one of the busiest days of the year. Even though they left on an awkward note, Rose saved her best gingerbread cookies for him on the off chance he happened to come in.

This turned out to be a good move because he ended up coming in right as the store was closing, Liz had left for the holidays and Rose was controlling a mop to magically clean the muddy shop front. Scorpius came in with an apologetic look on his face, and she shook her head.

"Don't."

He looked instantly guilty. "Look, Rose—"

"Don't be sorry," Rose restated, pushing the box of cookies in his hands. " _I'm_ sorry. What I said was out of line."

"Everything I've ever done was out of line."

"It's not an excuse for what I said."

"Listen," he said quietly, "I know you still hate me for what I did at Hogwarts. And I probably deserve that. But I'm trying, you know?"

It took a moment for her to comprehend his words. He was just going to burst everything out in the open, after being shut about it for so long?

"I don't hate you," she said honestly, "but I don't exactly trust you, either."

He looked sad, but tried to smile anyway. "Do you trust me enough to make you a hot chocolate?"

Rose was apprehensive, but she consciously put it aside and let him in the back to work the milk steamer. Over the past week, she'd been going back and forth of whether she was a workaholic—big fucking _yes_ —and thanks to Elizabeth, she'd also realized she was a bit of a control freak.

Scorpius might have said it poorly, but at least he told her the truth.

Since Rose had kept him a secret for so long, telling a friend what happened was like a balm (which Elizabeth was also right about), and oddly, it felt a bit like closure. She found the separation of the years in between then and now helped immensely, and as she watched him pour chocolate into a mug, she felt a strong urge to know him again.

"Where did you learn this?" she asked quietly.

"Work," he replied, pouring milk in a pitcher. "I worked as a barista in Diagon Alley for a couple of years."

Rose almost stumbled, and she was standing still. "Wait, are you serious?"

"Yep."

"I can't picture you as a barista." Or why, with his family's large fortune, he would ever need to work as one.

"I don't have pictures," he replied teasingly, "but I was actually quite good at it. I was good with interacting with customers, and making drinks isn't so different from making potions."

"Wow."

"It also reminded me of you."

Rose couldn't reply.

He frothed the milk a few times before letting it sit. "Did you ever…?"

"I just went straight to school after Hogwarts," Rose explained, clearing her throat. "Paris for a few years, got my certification and then I shifted from one bakery to the next until I opened this place."

"Very straightforward and to plan," he said. She thought he was teasing her, but he was looking at her much too fondly for that. She felt her cheeks go warm.

A customer came in to pick up an order, and while Rose finished up and closed the shop, Scorpius poured frothy hot chocolate into two mugs. When she came back, he handed her one.

"What about you?" she asked curiously. "I thought you were doing law."

"Ah, well…" He took a sip before giving her a sheepish smile. "I tried. I barely made it in, and you know I've always hated reading."

_What?_

"You hate reading." Rose couldn't believe her ears. "How do you hate reading?"

"Well, I suppose I don't actually _hate_ it," he said, considering it, "but I certainly don't enjoy it."

"You never told me this," she said, racing through her memories. She felt like she would remember something so momentously heartbreaking.

"Anyway, it turns out that being a lawyer involves ridiculous amounts of reading," he continued, seeming unconcerned. "I made it through until the last year with very mediocre grades, but then I failed three classes and couldn't graduate. I decided to drop out."

"Three classes from finishing?" she repeated dubiously, and he nodded.

"I hated it," he said, taking another sip of hot chocolate. "I told my parents and they flipped out. I left home within the next week."

"They _were_ a little strict," Rose remembered.

He chuckled. "Understatement."

"And you've always been great at Potions."

"That's why I met up with Slughorn," he said, nodding. "He said he'd give me a recommendation as a professor if I got certified as a Potions Master. So I did that, worked as a barista to pay my bills… now I'm here."

"Now you're here."

Rose leaned against the counter and took a sip of her hot chocolate, which was perfectly chocolate-y with just the right amount of sweetness and thickness. Scorpius was peering at her intently, waiting.

"It's good," she assured him. "Really good."

He broke into a grin.

"So, I just closed," she said, gesturing to the large ' _Closed'_ sign she had just put up, "and I have a bit of preparation to do for tomorrow, plus the cleaning."

"What about dinner?"

"What about it?"

"Maybe we could grab some," he suggested carefully. "The pub across the street has decent fare."

Rose looked away; all of a sudden, her throat was very tight.

"Or," he said quickly, backtracking, "I could help out with this. I don't have anywhere to be. I'm off for two weeks, besides a bit of chaperoning here and there."

"Really?" she asked, looking around at the mess. "I mean, it's not very exciting and it's manual labour. I can't really pay you or anything."

Scorpius waved a hand in dismissal. "Let's do it."

"You're _sure_?"

" _Yes._ " His expression was so earnest it made her want to yank his lips to hers. He suddenly seemed ten years younger, a flashback to when she was teaching herself how to bake in the kitchens and his version of assisting was kissing her neck and stealing the recipe book.

He looked like _her_ Scorpius.

"Well," she said, turning so he couldn't see her smile, "now who's a workaholic?"

He laughed and grabbed an apron.

* * *

" _He was being really touchy-feely."_

" _He wasn't. We were just working on our potion."_

" _I don't like it, Rose."_

" _It's not my fault."_

_Rose and Scorpius were hissing at each other from the corner of their mouths and trying not to argue, all whilst attempting to look completely normal, buried in their books and just happened to sit across each other in the study hall. As Professor McGonagall walked by, they both quietened, but Rose could see from her peripheral that Scorpius was becoming more and more upset by the minute._

_Which was why she followed suit when he packed up his books, left the hall a few steps behind him—no one seemed to be paying them much attention—and let him get a good head start to the dungeons. When she was sure no one was around, she broke into a sprint to catch up to him and tug on his sleeve._

" _Come on," she said breathlessly. "It really isn't my fault."_

" _I know." He stared above her head, inhaling and exhaling sharply through his nostrils. "It's not your fault at all."_

" _Then why are you upset with me?"_

" _I'm not," he whispered, pulling her into an engulfing hug. "I'm upset with him."_

" _He didn't touch me, Scorpius," she mumbled into his chest. "I don't want him to. You know that, right?"_

" _I know, I know."_

_She held him, squeezing. "Just talk to me."_

_He said nothing besides pressing a press into her hair._

_They heard footsteps coming down the steps and Scorpius pulled her along, whipping a tapestry back and squeezing behind it. He waited until they passed and he couldn't hear the echoing of footsteps to exhale a long breath._

_Rose gave him a weak smile. "You're so jealous."_

" _Can you blame me?" he said, chuckling sadly._

" _You hang around those girls in Slytherin," she reminded him. "You said you weren't interested in them, and I believe you. I'm not jealous."_

_Scorpius shook his head. "It's not that simple for blokes. I don't trust them."_

" _You should trust me."_

" _I_ do _trust you."_

" _If you said it was okay, I'd tell everyone about us," Rose said in a bold whisper. "No one would ask us to Hogsmeade. We could walk around without worrying about being caught. We could write letters to each other over the summer."_

_He pulled her into his arms again. "I wish it was that easy."_

_She sighed. "I know you're not ashamed of me, but sometimes…"_

" _You know I'm not," he said immediately, squeezing her tightly. "I still can't believe you're not ashamed of_ me. _"_

" _I can't be. Nothing you say will convince me otherwise." Rose reached up and pecked a kiss to his jaw. "You don't have to be jealous. You know how much I love you, and I think you know that you're my first everything."_

_Scorpius stayed quiet._

_Rose kissed him again. "C'mon. Let's tell everyone."_

" _Listen, it's not as though I'm some bloody Gryffindor," he objected. "I need to think about this and plan it out."_

" _Neither am I, in case you've forgotten," Rose said, trying to quell her rising frustration, "but I still want to tell my family. I hate hiding and sneaking around, and I think they'd understand. Eventually."_

" _Okay." Scorpius let her go and raked his hand through his hair. "Okay, so maybe you should tell them first. Send me an owl when you have, and then I'll tell my family, too."_

_Rose straightened. "Fine."_

_It was after that when she understood the difficulty of what she was asking. She wondered if she should question her relationship with her parents—who really were lovely, to be honest—when she couldn't share her relationship with someone as important as Scorpius._

_But every time she tried to bring him up, she would remember her parents' faces when they told her about the war stories. She would remember the way her mother had been tortured at Scorpius' home and the horrific trauma they still endured so many years later._

_So she didn't tell them._

_Rose and Scorpius didn't speak again all summer break—not once until the first day of their seventh year. He never asked why she didn't tell her parents, never questioned why they were still sneaking around, never asked for an apology. He just knew, and loved her anyway._

_And that was the problem._

* * *

A/N: Helloo and Happy New Years! I hope you enjoyed the holidays and this chapter :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Scorpius was back the next day—six-thirty in the morning—even though it was snowing heavily. Rose was used to handling the holiday rush herself, but when Scorpius sleepily grabbed an apron and gave her a grumpy look, she poured him a coffee instead of protesting. By the time the morning rush filtered into Cake Witch, he was awake and charming the customers in a way that made her a little jealous.

He came back the day after that, and after that, she wasn't surprised at all to see him poke into the bakery and ready to work. He already knew how to use the espresso machine, so she taught him the right spells for the oven and where the recipes were kept. It amused her how much he loved the smell of fresh bread, and he loved hearing her ideas of new cakes and pastries.

And just like that, Scorpius was back in her life, seemingly to stay.

And it was strange. At first, she was struck by how similar he still was—his playful smile, the way he'd stuff his hands in his pockets when he was nervous, his easy manner—and how he'd changed. He seemed slightly taller, he had tiny wrinkles around his eyes and most notably, he was more sure of himself than before.

Or maybe it was her who changed, because she found it so much easier to be herself. Back then, she remembered having such difficulty speaking openly with him, either because she felt they communicated telepathically (which was to say, not at all). Now, she said what she wanted to say, and so did he. Sort of.

And sometimes, it was unexpected.

"You want to bake gingerbread cookies," Rose repeated, "for me?"

"Or for the shop," he said hastily. "Honestly, I'm well-aware that my gingerbread habit around the holidays is unprecedented, and I think we'd be doing us a service. Not to mention the house elves."

She tried not to laugh, focusing on gathering the crumbs as she cleaned the countertop with a rag. "Right. Why are the house elves upset with you, again?"

"It's silly."

"Then I _have_ to hear about it."

Scorpius sighed loudly and leaned back on the opposite counter. "It's ridiculous. But they got used to us visiting when we were at Hogwarts, right? And they assumed when I came back for teaching, I'd be hanging around the kitchens like we did back then."

"I think you should," Rose teased, watching him fidget with the black straps of his apron. "We loved those little elves."

"I _do,_ but it's not like I'm studying and need snacks to keep going." He nudged her side gently with his elbow. "It's not like I'm meeting up with a pretty girl every night."

Rose hid her smile by wiping down the espresso machine.

"Anyway," he said, still red, "if I learn how to make the cookies myself, maybe I won't bother you for them. Right?"

"I kind of like when you bother me, though," she admitted.

Scorpius beamed.

And then the doorbell tinkled, a customer came in and they were back to work.

It wasn't until Rose finally locked the door and flipped the sign from _'Open'_ to ' _Closed'_ that they had a chance to make gingerbread cookies. Despite his general lack of interest towards learning at Hogwarts, he was quite focused and meticulously measured each ingredient. Rose attempted to sprinkle in some extra cinnamon when he had his back turned, but he caught her when she accidentally clanged the shaker against the steel bowl.

"It tastes better," she explained sheepishly.

"I wonder how Elizabeth puts up with you," he teased, shaking the whisk at her.

She stuck out her tongue. "I'm a professional. Also, she kicks me out of the kitchen."

Scorpius laughed. "What's next then, Chef Rose?"

"More mixing. On your own, if you insist."

"Lovely."

"I need a strong shot of espresso," Rose said tiredly, breaking her own rule by hoisting herself onto the counter. It was going to take some disinfecting later, but her feet were in pain. "Maybe two."

"It's been a long day," Scorpius agreed, battling with the tough cookie dough. "I don't know how you do this."

"Me neither." She leant back on her hands, looking around the bakery. "I mean, the simple answer is I love it. Even when it's hard, I go up to my flat at the end of the day, I can still smell the bread and I fall asleep pretty satisfied."

Scorpius raised an eyebrow in response.

"I live above the shop," she explained.

"Oh," he said, chuckling. "It's ironic, isn't it? You used to be so sure you'd follow in your mother's footsteps."

She shrugged. "I found something I liked, and I was good at it."

"I wish I found something I liked earlier," he confessed, consulting the recipe. "For a long time, I was focused on something that might make me a lot of money, even though it never really mattered to me."

"You never told me that."

"No." He cracked an egg into the bowl before continuing mixing. "No, I didn't. There was a lot of family things I didn't like to talk about."

"Right." Sometimes it still stung, how little he would tell her.

Scorpius exhaled. "I eventually just realized that if I was ever going to live my life the way I wanted, I was going to have to disappoint my family. Every day since I left has been better than the years I was in the Magical Law program, all-expenses paid."

"It sounds like you did the right thing," she said gently.

He returned her smile immediately.

"I agree, though," Rose reflected. "Money wasn't a driving factor for me, either, but it was never something my family cared about. You have to knead the dough with your hands, now."

Scorpius washed his hands in the sink behind them before returning to the bowl. "You were so nervous to tell them about baking, but they practically celebrated it."

"They don't understand," she confirmed, "but they support me. I'm lucky."

"I was so jealous."

"You've figured things out now, though," she said, hopping off the counter to grab the rolling pin. "It seems like you're happy."

"I've found a solution," he disputed. "I could be here for a long time and be content with each day. I probably couldn't ask for better."

Rose then enchanted the rolling pin to slowly spread out the dough while she and Scorpius did that fun part: cookie cutting. Grabbing the gingerbread men cookie molds, she tossed one to Scorpius and they went to work, putting the cookies onto a baking tray.

"Are you happy?" he asked after some time.

"I think so." She avoided his eyes. "Sure, I'm kind of exhausted. But I get to be creative with my cakes, I enjoy working here, and I think there might be opportunities up ahead."

"Meaning?"

"I want to expand," Rose said, gesturing to the right wall. "Next door might shut down—I've been working on him—and maybe I could build space for tables, books… that sort of thing." She grinned. "I could probably give the used bookstore a run for its money."

"Same old competitiveness, then," Scorpius observed, finishing the last gingerbread cutout and dusting off his hands.

"Going to accuse me of being a workaholic again?"

"Yes," he said, making her snort, "but I like that you fight for what you want."

"So now you _like_ that I'm a workaholic?" she prodded, folding her arms across her chest. After making her head spin with his accusation, she'd been very sure Scorpius hadn't meant it in any sort of positive way.

He grinned the same way he always did when he would rile her up. "I like your work ethic. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do and what I wanted out of life. You had an inkling and you're taking it as far as you can."

"But…"

"It's probably not going to last. You're going to get to the burnout eventually."

Her arms fell to her sides and she looked away. "Who's to say I haven't?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know it seems odd," she said, using her wand to line some large baking trays with fresh parchment paper, "but I reached the burnout stage a long time ago. I took time off, hired people, stayed in my flat and read books until my eyes were falling out. I hated every second of it."

Scorpius chuckled. "Of course you did."

They began placing the cookies onto the trays. "I needed rest, so I rested. I shortened the hours in the store. But this is what keeps me going."

"Seems like you figured something out," he observed.

"It wasn't _exactly_ that I had to work less," she explained, "though I definitely cut it down, a little bit. It was that I had to make time for everything else. Sleep, laundry, seeing friends and family. I needed to balance it all."

"You do that now, do you?"

"Yes." Rose focused her gaze on the cookies, placing them much more precisely than was strictly needed. "The holidays are always mad, but for the rest of the year… I balance. My balance just looks different than Elizabeth's."

His elbow bumped against hers, but he didn't step away. "Why do you love baking so much?"

"Same reason as back then."

Coincidentally, a similar reason to why she loved Scorpius back then, too: the solace they'd found in each other was exactly what they both needed and craved. She could sense those feelings creeping back—well, perhaps they'd never _left_ , just remained dormant—but it was different now, and not just because they weren't teenagers anymore.

When she was putting the trays in the oven, he spoke again. "Sometimes I wish I was as brave as you."

"You've always been braver than me," she disagreed immediately, perplexed. "I could never speak up in class or make friends the way you did. I was always jealous of that."

He shook his head. "I wasn't brave. Not for the things that mattered."

She waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

And there it was: the reason everything had fallen apart in the first place. Perhaps it wasn't the only reason, but it was exactly why over ten long years without him, she thought it was best she didn't try to contact him again. Choosing her own silence was better than the silence that had forced a wedge into their relationship.

And honestly? She wasn't sure how long she could put up with it this time around.

* * *

" _You're so hopeless in the kitchen, Scorpius."_

_He swiped a dot of whipped cream onto her nose. "But you're cute, so that kind of makes up for it."_

_As a date, Scorpius had decided to make brownies—probably because Rose loved them so much—but he was absolutely awful at it. He excelled in his experimentation with Potions by what he claimed was pure intuition, but Rose knew better; Scorpius had the most knowledge in the background of Potions ingredients than nearly anyone in their year._

_When it came to food, it was evident that Scorpius approached the recipe as a potion, but had no background to succeed._

" _The recipe says_ two _cups," Rose pointed out, "not three. You can't just improvise all the measurements."_

" _I can, and I will."_

" _You can't," she insisted, grabbing his wrist. He gave her a handsome grin and dumped the extra flour in anyway._

_Rose sighed and shook her head. She knew better than to argue with Scorpius, a.k.a. Stubborn Scorpius. She watched him struggling with the very thick batter, clumsily attempting to combine the ingredients in the bowl._

" _Here, let me." Without waiting for a reply, she grabbed the spatula from his hand and mixed the contents faster, folding smoothly as she went._

_Scorpius poked her side. "Bossy."_

" _Oi. Don't be mean to your girlfriend."_

" _I would never." Suddenly, Scorpius was behind her, arms around her waist, face in her neck. She felt his warmth around her, and something felt like it had unraveled her chest, her spine, her everything._

" _I've missed you," he said quietly, lips on her skin. "You've been so busy."_

" _N.E.W.T.s this year, remember?" She sighed and sunk into his hold. "I know. It's the Head Girl duties, and I just finished that application for that big scholarship. And you've always got Quidditch practice."_

" _Exams are still at the end of the year," he reminded her. He sounded sad, and it made her chest ache. "Quidditch is a few times a week. But you're always busy."_

" _I'm sorry." She kissed his jaw. "I've missed you, too."_

" _And now it's nearly break, and I won't see you for two weeks."_

" _I'm really sorry," she repeated insistently, turning around to loop her arms around his shoulders. "I don't mean to let the time get away from me, it just sort of… does."_

_He nodded, looking determinedly at her nose rather than her eyes. "I'm not trying to get in the way—"_

" _You're not—"_

"— _but maybe we could have more date nights." He kissed her deeply, hands sneaking around to her arse, and Rose was thankful it was late and the elves had retreated from the kitchens. "Maybe I can sneak you into my dorm again."_

" _We almost got caught the last time."_

_He ducked and she felt his lips and tongue on her neck. "Worth it."_

" _I'd like that," she said, her eyes falling closed. Scorpius always made her feel like the rest of the world melted away, and she had a suspicion that she had a similar effect. "Maybe after the break."_

And tonight, _neither of them had to say._

_They were exceptionally skilled at these wordless agreements, and they found themselves abandoning the brownie batter in favour of sneaking into the Slytherin dormitories and casting enough spells to keep even Lord Voldemort away. Still, Rose decided to whisper later, when she was lying in his arms and almost asleep._

" _I'm nervous to go home," she confessed._

_He blinked a few times, half-awake. "Why's that?"_

" _I'm going to tell my parents that I want to do that Transfiguration in Baking course instead of applying for the Ministry."_

" _Oh," he said in understanding, pulling her closer. "Why are you nervous?"_

" _They're going to freak out," she babbled. "They're going to kill me or worse, they'll think I'm going to fail my N.E.W.T.s—"_

" _Priorities, Rose."_

"— _and I'm not going to fail," she continued. "I've been revising, and just because the Transfiguration N.E.W.T. matters the most doesn't mean I'm dropping the other subjects."_

" _You're too smart for your own good," Scorpius confirmed, lips twitching in amusement. "I think this is more about the talk you need to inevitably have with your parents."_

_She sighed. "Yeah. I know."_

" _And if they're going to snap at a perfectly good career choice, I'm not sure I want to see what happens when they hear about us."_

" _We're going to tell them at graduation though," she added, "right?"_

" _Yes. Of course." He'd paused for a second too long, but she still believed him._

" _Are you nervous to go home?"_

" _More like dreading the entire affair," he moaned, dropping his nose into her hair. "My mother is still convinced that Melanie Nott is my soulmate and I'm ninety-nine percent sure she's invited their family for Christmas dinner."_

" _Ouch." She attempted to keep the giggling under her breath. "Should I be worried?"_

" _Sometimes I wish you were the jealous type," he grumbled._

" _Why?" she asked curiously, but he kissed her instead._

" _Anyway, it's going to be awful." He thought for a moment, staring up at the ceiling of the four-poster bed. "Sometimes I wish I could just stay at Hogwarts for Christmas."_

" _You should." She touched her nose to his. "I would stay, too."_

" _Guess I'm just avoiding the inevitable," he said. She could sense that there was much more to it than just Melanie Nott, but approaching the subject had to be done carefully and considerately. In all their years of knowing each other, he had never spoken very openly of his parents._

" _What happened?" she asked as gently and calmly as possible. "Did they say something?"_

_He smiled at her. "Don't worry about it."_

" _You can tell me. You know you can."_

" _I know."_

" _Then…"_

" _Don't worry about it."_

" _You never talk about them, Scorpius," she said, voice strained between argument and comfort. "You never really talk about anything."_

_He tucked her into his shoulder. "Let's sleep."_

" _See what I mean?"_

" _I don't like talking about it." He'd said it enough times to give her déjà vu. "It's our last night together before the holidays, and I just… I'd rather not spoil it."_

_Rose didn't reply. If they were exceptionally skilled at wordless agreements, their arguments made them masters of the art._

" _I'm going to miss you so much," Scorpius whispered a few moments later. "I already miss you."_

But that's your fault, _she wanted to say._

_It didn't occur to her until much later—when he was gone and she was alone—how exactly she contributed to the cracks, every little chip in the woodwork, before he made the final break._

* * *

A/N: Hey there! Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and also your winter break (if you had one). I know I'm still half in vacation mode, haha. Thank you for all your thoughts as you've been reading, it means the world to me that you're reading my angsty little story :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

"What do you want for Christmas?"

It was nearly time to close, the fairy lights were twinkling outside and Rose kept catching the lyrics for _All I Want for Christmas_ on the wireless that was quietly playing in the corner. Scorpius, who was manning the espresso machine, chuckled at her question.

"A bit late, isn't it?" he asked. "Christmas Eve?"

She shrugged. Scorpius hung the rag and leant back on his hands, looking Rose up and down. She was suddenly quite aware of the flour down the front of her apron.

"I can guess what you want," he said.

"Oh?"

"New cake molds."

Rose grinned and glanced back towards the kitchen cabinets, where she kept every kind of cake mold imaginable. Her favourites had to be the Quidditch-themed ones, and though she'd never fully admitted it to herself, it was probably because they reminded her of Scorpius. Back at Hogwarts, she never missed his games.

It didn't surprise her that he was right. Rose had dated a few men after Scorpius, but no one ever understood her like he did—no one even came _close._ She wasn't going to let him have that satisfaction, though.

"The best presents aren't ones you can buy," Rose deflected, "unless, of course, it's sweets from Cake Witch."

"Of course."

A customer came in for their regular sourdough loaf. As soon as the door swung shut behind them, Scorpius said, "Can you guess what I'd like?"

"Not really."

"You're not even going to try?"

"Nah."

He smirked. "Never thought you'd admit defeat so quickly."

Rose stalked over to him and leaned back on the counter beside him. "Okay. I don't really know what you need, but you live at Hogwarts, so I'm guessing you don't need any type of furniture or cookware. And apparently you hate reading and _never told me,_ so books don't make the cut. So… maybe a new broom?"

He laughed. "You're really overthinking this."

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"I'm _wounded,_ " he declared, putting a hand to his chest. "The best presents aren't the ones you can buy."

Rose tried not to laugh; he still knew how to read her, _exactly_ how to rile her up. "What do you want, then?"

"Gingerbread cookies, obviously." He softly elbowed her in the ribs. "From Cake Witch."

"Oh, _obviously_."

"Honestly, Rose, how could you think I'd be so materialistic?"

She laughed. "You're so dramatic sometimes."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"It shows you care," she acknowledged. "Sometimes it comes off like you don't, but just under the surface, you obviously care so much. I like that about you."

Scorpius softened. "Thanks."

"It's just the truth."

"I suppose." He paused. "I _could_ use a new broom, though."

She gently shoved him and he stumbled away, laughing.

After glancing at the clock, Rose went to the front door to flip the sign _'Closed_ ' and paused at the sign that posted her holiday hours. For a split second, she wondered if Elizabeth was right; her regulars knew her well enough that they wouldn't care if she took a day off. It wasn't as though anywhere else in Hogsmeade was open, and she _did_ miss her family, even if they drove her a little crazy.

"All right?" Scorpius called from behind the counter.

"Yeah." Rose shook her head and made her way back into the kitchens, and he followed her. She attempted to dust off the flour on her apron before giving up and hanging it on the hook.

"Done for the day?" he asked, surprised. "I thought you wanted to let some dough rise overnight."

She sat down at the back table, fingers tight around the wooden stool underneath her. "I dunno. Maybe Elizabeth is right."

"Isn't she usually?"

"Maybe I should close." Rose chewed on her lip and looked around, where she still needed to clean everything. If she was opening on Christmas, there was some prep work she needed to do. Instead of getting right to it, like she normally did, the thought just made her feel exhausted.

"Do you have any other plans for Christmas day?" he asked, collapsing on the stool beside her.

"Dinner with every member of my extended family." She let out a sigh before she could hold it back. "They're all so loud and restless. And they have babies that fit right in."

"It seems like all my friends are getting married and having children," Scorpius reflected.

"I'm sure I'll be interrogated about my non-existent boyfriend tomorrow."

"A few of my students thought it was horrible that I'm not going home for the holidays," he said, chuckling. "They think it's so simple: by twenty-eight years old, I should be married, a baby on the way, no questions asked."

"It all seemed so simple back then. They'll get it one day."

"Maybe one day they'll stop pestering me, anyway."

"Why aren't you going home?" she asked before she could stop herself.

He hesitated, and his expression was so familiar it made her wince.

Rose dropped her gaze to her knees and wondered whether people ever really changed, even with ten years behind them. She _felt_ different, of course, but the recent attention to her old habits that never died left her questioning it all. If they were the same as they always were, they weren't going to work. It would inevitably end.

Wouldn't it?

She was distracted from her thoughts when Scorpius took a deep breath. "My family is difficult."

"Are they?" She knew they were. But she'd never known why.

"Yeah." She had the sense he couldn't look at her. He'd always wanted everyone to see him a particular way, and this part of vulnerability was most likely challenging. "They're disappointed in me, you know?"

Rose was confused. "Before, you said that you had this realization… you _had_ to disappoint them. Didn't you?"

"I did," he confirmed, "but that doesn't really change the fact that they're disappointed. I've moved on, but it's still there."

"Right."

"Going back is hard," he continued in a small voice. "Maybe they've accepted I'm not going to go back to law school, but they can't accept I won't work for the Ministry. I told them I don't care about the inheritance. I told them I don't care about marrying within their circle of friends, but they still try to set me up every time I visit."

Even if she knew better, that last one made her insides twist painfully. "Oh."

"They love me." Scorpius still wasn't looking at her. "They just have a strange way of showing it, at times."

"That's a lot," she said quietly, thinking back to how he'd insisted keeping that all inside when they were young. "My parents—their legacy, really—put a lot of pressure on me. But we resolved that, eventually."

He let out a humourless laugh. "There's no resolving this. No matter how many times I've explained it to them, they still want me to front their scheme of the Malfoys having the same sort of influence and power as they did before the war. I'm never going to want any part of that."

"I'm sorry." She paused, but said it anyway. "You should've told me."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"I would've understood. Maybe I could've helped."

Scorpius shrugged. "We were both too young to do much. You were right, all those years ago—spending the holidays at Hogwarts was the right decision. Took me a few years to figure out that I needed the distance."

Rose couldn't imagine a world where her family didn't accept her for who she was, despite not understanding it. "You were pretty strong."

"I suppose."

"You were," she insisted, turning in her seat towards him. His hands were deep in the pockets of his apron. "All those times they made you feel like you weren't enough? That wasn't your fault."

Scorpius met her gaze and then, it was as though she couldn't look away. His stormy eyes seemed rather wet, but then he blinked and it was gone and he was much closer than she'd realized, reaching for her jaw. Something wedged itself deep in her throat because _she knew that look,_ the same one she'd seen precisely eleven years ago when it happened the first time.

He was going to kiss her.

Rose nearly fell off the stool, fumbling for her footing as she backed away.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, anxiously, hands held up as he stood. "I just thought—sorry."

"I can't do this." Rose was deeply regretting the playful teasing, the touch of flirting that had gone on for the past month, especially the last few days. "I can't."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you here?" she demanded. "After last time—how could you think I could do this? Why are you here?"

He swallowed and stuffed his hands in his pockets again. "I don't have to say it. You know why I'm here."

"No. Not this again."

"Not what?"

"You always used to do this," she explained. "We'd dance around and you'd never just come out and _say_ what you really meant—"

"That's not true," he protested weakly.

"—and I'm not putting up with that bullshit anymore." She swallowed. "You told me about your family, and I understood that."

"You did."

"So just tell me."

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, arms reaching left and right. "You know. You _have_ to know, don't you? You have to know that I still love—"

Rose had run towards him and put a hand over his mouth. The irony of it all was creeping up her neck in hot humiliation; for all that he held back, maybe she'd never been ready to hear it.

"Not that," she said breathlessly. "Not _that_."

When she dropped her hand, he cleared his throat. "I never wanted to break up."

"That's not true."

"It is!"

"You led me on the entire time." She hated how she was already so close to breaking, and it had been ten _years_ since it happened. "You knew we were going to break up at graduation. You _knew_."

Scorpius couldn't speak for a moment.

"You don't get it, Rose," he said, voice strained. "I didn't want to leave you, but I was miserable, I was a fucking _loser—_ "

"You were not!" she erupted. "Everyone loved you, and your grades were decent by the end—you got an Outstanding in Potions! You won the Quidditch cup that year. You got into the law program."

He shook his head. "I didn't get that many N.E.W.T.s as you think I did. My family had some contacts."

"That doesn't change anything," she said, wiping her cheeks. "You still led me on, made us sneak around like we were doing something _wrong_ just to break up because you couldn't _possibly_ tell your parents about me."

He was shaking his head. "I wanted to tell them—I was going to, I swear. But then I saw you walk across the stage at graduation. You had your entire life ahead of you, and I would have only gotten in the way of that."

Rose looked away, attempting to sniff back her tears. "Nothing would change. You would never tell anyone about us, even now."

"I'm not eighteen anymore," Scorpius persisted. "I don't depend on my family and I have a steady job that I'm good at. I wouldn't hide you again."

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?" he demanded, running a hand through his hair. "I would tell them tomorrow if you gave me another chance."

"You wouldn't." Rose tried to take a deep breath. "You say things I want to hear. I learned that from the last time."

Scorpius looked as though he'd been slapped. It was like the word floated between them, simply and overbearing all at once:

_Coward._

"What about you?" he questioned suddenly, defensively. "I seem to remember I wasn't the only one who had trouble with telling the truth. You were supposed to tell them first."

"That's not fair at all," she retorted, stung.

He ignored her. "Would _you_ tell your family about us now?"

"That's beside the point—"

"Just tell me—"

"—and you're just deflecting!"

"—would you?"

"I already have!"

It was suddenly so quiet, it was ringing in her ears. Scorpius was looking at her like he didn't believe her or didn't hear her, and stepped towards her as though it would help.

"What?" His voice sounded as though it were squeezed out of nowhere, like he wasn't breathing.

She swallowed but kept her eyes steady to his, closing the space between them until they were nose-to-nose. "I. Already. _Have._ "

And then he was kissing her and she didn't know how it happened. It wasn't altogether unexpected, if she was honest. But she was definitely kissing him back, the longing hanging from every kiss, every grasp, every miniscule of space they couldn't spare.

In the muddled mess of it all, she realized what Scorpius said all those years ago—the last thing he said to her before he left her—was dead-on.

* * *

_Rose was running to the Slytherin dormitory, and every tap of her shoes just made her that much more excited._

_Everyone was still at the Graduation party, but she managed to slip away. She was elated in a way she hadn't thought she would be; she'd gotten all her N.E.W.T.s, she'd gotten into the program in Paris and her parents were proud of her. When she'd told them about Scorpius, her father grumbled quite a lot, but perhaps the good news outweighed the difficult._

_They'd accepted it. They'd accepted_ him _._

_Scorpius told her the dormitories would be empty, and she'd seen him duck out of the party just ten minutes before. When she finally made it to his dorm, swung the door open and saw him pacing around the room, her first instinct was to throw her arms around him._

" _We're free!" The giggles burst out of her as he spun her around. "We're done!"_

" _We are." He was smiling._

" _I can't believe it."_

_Scorpius kissed her once, twice, then again, like he couldn't help himself._

_Rose pulled away, arms still around his shoulders. "Do you want to meet my parents?"_

_He wavered, and her heart dropped against her ribcage._

" _You were never going to tell them." Rose could see it plainly, now; the way he'd been pacing, hands in his pockets, almost sweating when she entered the room; how quiet he was being, like the words were caught in his throat; the longing look he'd given her when she'd walked across the stage, looked out and found him._

" _I was," he swore, "but I don't think it's a good idea anymore."_

" _Scorpius." Her voice was thick and she could already feel the tears coming. "We said we'd tell them at graduation."_

" _I know."_

" _I don't want to do this," she said, sliding her hands down his chest before stepping back. "I don't want to keep us a secret anymore. We're not our parents—"_

" _I know that, but—"_

"— _and I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm not ashamed of you." She said the words meaningfully, almost forceful. "I'm_ not. _"_

_He was quiet again. "You should be."_

" _Scorpius."_

" _I don't want to break up," he pleaded. "I love you. This is the last thing I want."_

" _But we're breaking up." It felt foreign on her tongue. Maybe she should've seen this coming. "Aren't we?"_

_He reached for her hand, but she stepped back again. "Rose, let's think about this logically. You're going to Paris. I'll be in London."_

" _It's not that far."_

" _You're_ brilliant, _" he said, and the admiration in his voice was what broke the dam. "You're so fucking amazing, okay? You're the best part of my life. I saw you on that stage and I couldn't have been prouder."_

_She wiped her eyes. "I'm proud of you, too."_

" _I'm just a weight on your back," he said, shaking his head. "I'm only doing law because I don't know what I want to be, or who I want to be. I have to figure it out eventually."_

" _That doesn't matter."_

" _Neither of us can look our parents in the eye."_

" _That doesn't matter either," she objected, "and it's not true, I—"_

" _My life isn't going to be straightforward," he interrupted loudly. "Nothing about it makes any sense right now. I wouldn't be good for you. Your parents will see through me right away."_

_For the first time, she looked at him and felt the anger that had built up; every time she had to duck around the corner because they couldn't be caught walking together; the times she waited for hours for his roommates to leave so she could sneak out of his dorm; the times they had a hide in the kitchen pantry because her cousins wanted a midnight snack._

_The hurt was overwhelming, once she wasn't in denial._

" _You planned this all along, didn't you?" She realized it as she spoke. "We were never going to make it past graduation. You were never going to tell them about me."_

" _No, Rose—"_

" _You led me on."_

" _I don't want to break up!" he burst out. "Can't you see we don't have another choice?"_

" _We do." She wiped her eyes again, and what she would tell her family was suddenly sinking in her gut. "Don't you think I get to have any say?"_

" _I've recounted literally every variation in my head a thousand times," he said weakly. "This is what's best. Maybe someday we could… if I could measure up."_

" _You're enough to me."_

" _If I was really enough, you would've told them about us. Months ago, when you said you would."_

" _Scorpius," she said immediately, her head snapping up, "that's not why I didn't tell them, I—"_

" _But we didn't."_

But I did _, Rose couldn't say. But that was it, he'd made up his mind, and she couldn't change it. She'd known him long enough to know that._

_He stepped towards her, but she stepped back, arms wrapped around herself._

" _We'll see each other again someday," he promised, and the desperation in his voice was the most heartbreaking part of it all. "I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to. The next time, we'll make this work."_

_She wanted to tell him he was wrong, but she couldn't. She turned to leave._

" _I'm going to miss you, Rose," he called after her, devastated._

_She didn't say it back. She'd spent their entire relationship saying it back._

_It wouldn't change anything._

* * *

A/N: *peeks from behind fingers* I'm sorry it's really angsty but fluff is coming in soon! dhkjdjh hope you enjoyed it anyway :)


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

_It was first year and everything was overwhelming._

_Firstly, Rose was Sorted into Hufflepuff and her cousin Albus into Gryffindor. He was her closest friend for many years, and now it was like he lived on the opposite side of the planet. Not to mention, she was sure her dad would grumble about being in Hufflepuff._

_Secondly, the books kept getting checked out. Every time an assignment required some research—which was pretty much always—Rose would have to rush to the library before anyone else to make sure she'd be able to use it before those pesky Ravenclaws. Sure,_ theoretically _she could ask to borrow it from them, but she felt much too shy for that._

_Thirdly, the elves always made dessert disappear too quickly._

_But most importantly, Rose had a lot of studying to do. Her mum was deemed the best witch of her year—as a Muggleborn, at that! Although Rose loved to read, the thought of exams made her unbearably nervous. No one in Hufflepuff seemed to understand this, and their dormitory, the Common Room and practically everywhere else were impossible areas to study._

_The summer before school began, her dad let her in on a secret. He told her about tickling a portrait that led to the kitchens, just in case she needed it. As he'd told her this over a sneaky slice of chocolate cake at midnight, she figured this information was legitimate._

_Rose felt silly, tickling random portraits around the dungeons, but she was lucky that most of the portraits accepted her apology. It was one day in October, close to Halloween, that she tickled a pear and a doorknob appeared before her eyes. For a moment, she could only stare at it._

" _What are you doing?"_

_Rose spun around, tightly clenching the book that she was holding. She found Scorpius Malfoy standing there, looking at her like she'd lost her mind._

" _Nothing," she spluttered. "Just. You know. Admiring the portrait."_

" _Why the hell is there a doorknob sticking out of it?" he asked, pointing to it. "Is that a secret passageway?"_

" _How would I know?"_

_He rolled his eyes and pushed past her, grabbing the doorknob and clambering through the portrait hole._

_Rose followed him, immediately delighted to see the elves bustling about. It was nearly dinner, and they seemed far too busy to even stop to take notice of them. It smelled delicious, like butter, garlic and potatoes._

_Scorpius seemed shocked at first, but quickly recovered and turned to her. "How did you know this was here?"_

" _I guessed," she half-lied. Her father_ had _warned her of Scorpius just before she boarded the train, but he didn't seem as mean as her father had described._

_He gaped at her. "You guessed?"_

" _Yep."_

" _That's mad." He shook his head. "Are you some sort of genius or something?"_

" _Definitely not," she said hastily. She definitely didn't need that rumour going around Hogwarts; she already felt the mounting pressure of her family's legacy. "I'm here to study."_

" _You're studying," he repeated dubiously, "in the kitchens_."

 _Rose held up her book and offered a weak smile._ _"I like reading."_

" _You_ like _reading?"_

" _Yes."_

_Scorpius took another look around the kitchens, observing the newly uncovered secrets, the elves that were still ignoring them and Rose's nervous shift from foot to foot. He zeroed in on a table in the corner and headed towards it. Without thinking, she followed him._

" _Have you been here before?" he asked curiously as they sat down._

" _No." She hesitated. "I've been looking for this place for a while. I thought no one would really be here, and I don't mind the elves."_

" _Why?"_

" _I can't focus when people talk," she admitted, and he had to lean in to hear her. "Everyone's just so loud."_

_And they were constantly whispering about her, comparing her to her parents. The entire situation was extremely stressful._

" _I won't tell anyone about this," he said, looking at her carefully._

" _Really?" Rose felt the tension leave her shoulders._

" _Really." He paused, and insecurity flashed across his face. "I won't tell anyone, but I need help with my schoolwork. I'm behind."_

_She tried not to laugh. "We've only been here for two months."_

" _I know," he said, flushing red, "but not everyone is a genius."_

" _I'm not a genius."_

" _You're clearly too smart for your own good."_

_Rose snorted._

" _So?" He watched as she took out her things, expectant; he obviously thought she would say yes, in the same way people did when they'd always been handed everything. As she would learn about his parents and the way they'd both spoiled him and expected the world, the juxtaposition would baffle her._

_But for now, she didn't see the harm._

" _You've got a deal," she told Scorpius._

" _Brilliant," he said, sending her a smile. "We can study here."_

" _Great."_

" _And you won't tell anyone," he pressed, "right?"_

_She smiled back. "I won't."_

* * *

When Rose woke Christmas morning, she thought she was dreaming.

It was a rather silly thought; obviously she knew reality from dreamland, but waking up in warm sheets, Scorpius sound asleep beside her, the twinkling lights in the distance, thick snowflakes falling outside her window…

It felt like a dream. She had certainly dreamed it before.

When she made to sit up, Scorpius slid his arm tight around her waist, curling her into the heat of his skin. "Don't," he whispered.

It struck her how familiar it sounded to when she would leave their "dates" to study. Back when she would hardly ever relent, hardly ever give him her time. "Don't get up?"

"Don't open the shop."

"I said I would on the sign."

"Don't." He kissed the back of her neck. "It's Christmas."

"You are a terrible influence."

"Or a great influence, depending on how you look at it."

She snorted. "I still need to change the sign, don't I?"

"Just wait."

She did so as he took a few breaths, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Maybe sleeping with Scorpius should've felt like a mistake, but it felt more like relief. Throughout the years, she'd suppressed her feelings more than she realized, hitting her like a nasty stunner as soon as he'd entered the shop the first time.

She didn't regret it. That, she was sure of.

Rose had almost settled back into sleep when he kissed her neck again. "You said… Last night, you said you told them. When?"

"When I said I would."

There was a long pause before he croaked, "At graduation? Really?"

"Yeah."

" _Fuck,_ " he groaned brokenly, and she felt his despair strike through her own chest. "You mean we… if I had known… we could've had _years_ together, couldn't we?"

Rose didn't bother pointing out that she wasn't sure what they were doing right now. She smiled sadly. "No. Probably not."

"No?"

"We were a ticking time bomb," she pointed out. "Maybe you broke us up because you didn't feel like you were enough. Maybe you never talked about the shit you were dealing with. But I blew you off when you needed me, always in my own little world. I didn't include you in my plans when I went to Paris."

Scorpius was silent, but she sensed his assent.

"And neither of us ever reached out to each other all these years." She _had_ felt the betrayal all these years—she wasn't exactly eager to experience that again—but she would've opened a letter from him. "I tried to move on, see other people. I'm sure you did, too."

"I tried," he relented, "but no could ever… no one even came close, you know?"

A lump rose in her throat.

"I wanted to write to you," he admitted quietly. "So many times, I wanted to owl and see how you were doing, but I didn't. I thought you hated me, for good reason."

"I couldn't." She'd tried and failed. Rose was never the vindictive type.

"I didn't know you were here this entire time." He thought for a moment. "This past year and a half… I was just focused on getting the job at the school. I've got this intuition for Potions, but you know I was never into academics."

"I didn't know what you were up to, either," she conceded. If she was honest, she avoided figuring it out, unable to take it if he was with someone else. They needed to figure themselves out, to be ready for this sort of love again. To be ready for something that was, frankly, beyond their years the first time around.

"Last month, when I found you here, I thought it was a sign," he said, chuckling. "A shot at a second chance. I wasn't going to pass it up."

Rose was quiet. Letting him back into her life was one thing. Trusting him was another.

She was nearly asleep again when he slid away from her, carefully and soundlessly. Rose peeked her eyes open anyway, as he was putting on his button-down and bouncing from foot-to-foot to get his trousers up his legs. When he noticed her looking at him, he sent her a smile.

"I'm coming back," he assured. "I'm going to change the sign for you. Then I'm going to do something. But I'll be right back, I promise."

Rose let him go. Maybe she didn't quite trust him, but she didn't see the harm. There was something about his demeanour that told her to believe him. Scorpius didn't seem anxious or defensive, like he might have been when he was seventeen.

He was _excited._ Hopeful.

It made her a little hopeful, too.

* * *

When Scorpius came back, just as she'd woken up from a little nap and finished up a shower, he had a _tree._

Rose had to stop in her tracks, just watching Scorpius levitate a pine tree—Merlin, it must have been at _least_ eight feet tall—into the tiny living room of her tiny flat. The top brushed the ceiling, and thankfully, he had a tree stand he tossed over before placing the tree down on it.

"What is _this_?" she asked, incredulous.

"It's a tree."

"Scorpius."

"A Christmas tree," he corrected, grinning cheekily at her. He put a large cardboard box he'd been carrying down onto the floor and let out a tired breath. "Also, I marked on your sign that Cake Witch is closed for Boxing Day and New Year's."

Rose groaned.

"I brought decorations." He knelt down to open the box, and she could see the multi-coloured baubles, golden tinsel and string lights. "They're a few years old, but they work just fine. I don't exactly have a tree in my office over at Hogwarts."

"Where did you get this?" she asked, undoing the towel around her head. "The trees have been sold out for weeks. That's why I only have a dinky little one in the shop."

He swallowed, eyes on her hair as it fell around her shoulders. "I have my ways."

"Meaning…"

"I bought this weeks ago and convinced Rosmerta to keep it safe for me."

Rose laughed. "You've been charming her since third-year Hogsmeade visits, haven't you?"

Scorpius stood, but kept his distance. "You look really nice."

"Thanks, it's for dinner tonight." She looked down at her simple red dress with a sequin trim. "Well, this afternoon. I usually go and help with the cooking. Mostly the baking."

"Naturally." He swallowed and ran a hand through his blond strands. "Anyway, I originally thought I'd bring this over on Christmas, decorate it together because no one goes to the shops on Christmas—"

"Oi, I resent that!"

"—but then I noticed you don't have a tree up here, which is just a crime."

She shrugged. "I didn't have time."

And she didn't have anything better to do, so she picked up one end of the string lights and began wrapping them around the tree as Scorpius worked on unknotting the other one. She felt odd, but couldn't really describe it or muster up the courage to kick him out of her flat. "I still don't understand why you're doing this."

"You always hated going home for the holidays," he explained, "and now you never take them, so I'm making it a holiday you'll love."

"I never _hated_ them," she corrected immediately, feeling warm all over. He'd planned that all for her? "My family just drives me crazy sometimes. Loud people want you to be loud with them."

"Well, I guess it was me who hated it."

Rose finished her end of the lights and took the next set from Scorpius. "Why?"

He took a decisive breath, and she could see the struggle in his expression. "Holidays are just a thinly veiled time for your family to criticize you harshly but politely. Then they tell you to keep up appearances when you lose your shit."

"I didn't realize that," she said quietly.

"That's how it is in my family." He reached for the tinsel, which was also knotted. "My father in particular can be a little… demanding, I suppose."

"Really?"

"Nothing I did was ever enough for him. Nothing." He paused. "At graduation? After the Outstanding in Potions, passing everything else, the Quidditch cup and getting into the law program? He still said I hadn't done enough because I hadn't been made Head Boy."

Rose began hanging up baubles on the tree. "You hardly ever talked about it. Back then."

"It was confusing when in school," he confessed. "I always had everything I wanted—my father bought me that broom as soon as it came out, remember? How could someone who provided everything for me also hurt me?"

"That's not necessarily true," Rose began, frowning. "You did all right when you put the work in. Sometimes the pressure he put on you was the reason you blanked in exams."

He nodded, still concentrated on the tinsel in his hands. "I know that now."

"That must have been difficult."

"He's had some difficulty after the war. He wanted me to come out on top, I suppose." He cleared his throat. "My grandparents in particular always advocate marrying other purebloods."

Rose dropped a bauble. "Seriously?"

"It's why I hate going home for Christmas." He laughed weakly. "Call me spoiled, but marrying one of my distant cousins sounds like a nightmare."

Rose took the tinsel from him and tugged it out his hands before wrapping her arms around him. He still smelled like he did when he was younger, sweet and warm and very _Scorpius_ , and he still tucked her head into his shoulder and squeezed her tightly the way he did back then.

"Thank you for telling me," she mumbled into his shirt.

"I should've told you back then."

"Maybe you couldn't make sense of it."

"Understatement of the year," he said, chuckling. "The New Year is soon, so maybe we can try again. We could start—well, continue—with the tree."

"Yes," she agreed, "but first, I need breakfast. And coffee."

"Right." He looked nervous all of a sudden. "Please don't be angry with me."

"What?"

"I used your kitchen." He stuffed his hands in his pockets as her eyes went wide. "I know. I'm sorry. But I don't have the materials to make peppermint brownies."

She stared at him. "You _what?"_

* * *

As it turned out, Scorpius had indeed used the Cake Witch kitchen. It wasn't a big deal, it really wasn't, but Rose could feel the twisting in her chest that Elizabeth had her recognize as her control freak tendency. She took deep breaths and tried to tame the eye twitch.

To his credit, Scorpius cleaned everything, even what was left over from the night before when they were otherwise preoccupied (ahem). As they sat aside the new tree, lit the Christmas lights, down on the rug next to her coffee table, nibbling on peppermint bark brownies—Rose's favourite, he actually _remembered_ —and sipping their coffee, Scorpius was peering at her mug.

"You take your coffee black," he recounted to himself, a stark difference to his own in which he'd dumped _at least_ three spoons of sugar. "I'm going to remember that."

Rose was staring at him, admittedly in awe. "When did you _do_ all this?"

"Last night, mostly." Scorpius grinned, nervous just underneath the surface. "I mean, I couldn't sleep, you were snoring up a storm—"

"Excuse you, I do not _snore_." Rose sniffed haughtily, jokingly, making him laugh. "You planned this. The tree and the brownies. You're really laying it on thick, aren't you?"

"I'm just doing everything I wish I could have done back then. I'm making our first Christmas count." His newfound boldness made her heart jolt. Somehow, Rose hadn't imagined their first holiday together to be so nerve-wracking. And then it hit her.

 _Their first Christmas together._ The implication of more to come.

"Besides," he added after a moment of her reserve, "the best gifts aren't bought, right?"

"Right," she said, clearing her throat before nodding towards the brownies, baked in her kitchen with her ingredients. "They're not bought, they're _stolen._ "

Scorpius burst into laughter again.

Rose tossed a chunk of her brownie in her mouth before taking a long sip of her coffee—the perfect bite. "Tell me something."

"What do you want to know?"

"I dunno." She felt hungry for it, the way only someone who'd been waiting ten years could be. "Anything."

Scorpius dusted off the brownie crumbs from his hand and gulped down his coffee. She was pretty sure he'd put a load of cream and sugar in there, which made her smile. "Anything, are you sure?"

"Yes." Anything that would make her trust him again. That would make her feel like it would be different this time.

He looked at her closely. "Gingerbread isn't my favourite Christmas sweet."

There was a long pause.

" _What_?" she all but shrieked. "Are you joking?"

"No," he confessed, trying not to smirk. "It's mince pies."

"I am going to murder you."

" _But_ ," he added loudly, "my all-time favourite dessert is gingerbread cookies. Specifically, _your_ gingerbread cookies."

Rose wasn't sure to laugh or groan in exasperation. "You've had so much of it this season."

"I had to make up for lost time." He stretched out his long legs alongside hers, and she could feel his heat through her stockings. "I want to take you out."

"Nothing's open," she reminded him. "It's Christmas."

"I meant tomorrow. Or this weekend." He nudged her purposefully this time, his socked foot against hers. "I never took you out on a real date, and I always regretted that. It could be a proper Hogsmeade visit."

Rose tried not to laugh. "You can't redo all your regrets, Scorpius."

"I can try." He looked hopeful, certainly more hopeful than she felt.

"Do you remember our first date?" she asked, smiling when Scorpius instantly brightened. "You brought that blanket up to the North Tower and we went stargazing at midnight?"

"You were so sure we were going to get caught."

"We almost did. Albus wouldn't stop asking me why I needed the invisibility cloak." Rose nudged his foot this time. "We had a lot of happy memories back then, tucked away in different corners at Hogwarts."

And all of a sudden, it overwhelmed her with how much she wanted that again.

"If we're going to do this again," she said decisively, carefully locking her gaze with his, "I'm going to tell my family. My _entire_ family, including my dad, who witnessed me post-breakup."

Scorpius was beside her in an instant.

"We could tell them today." He seemed almost excited by the prospect, which tore her in opposite emotional directions. "Or whenever you'd like. I want to meet them, even if it's going to take a while before they warm up to me. And maybe I can finally explain why you're such a brilliant baker."

"Scorpius." Rose tried to laugh down the tears in her eyes. There was no scaring him away, was there? "I want to meet _your_ family first."

"Oh, right," he said, deflating considerably.

"If you don't want to—"

"No, I do," he reassured immediately. "It's only fair, right? You held up your end of the deal."

"Telling my family wasn't as difficult, evidently." Rose wanted to be understanding, she did. But even though there was a large, lovely-smelling Christmas tree in her living room, peppermint bark brownies in her belly and the overwhelming feeling of _he still loves her he still loves her_ , it didn't solve anything.

Scorpius was trying, though. He'd told her about his family. She could appreciate how he'd set her free from his debilitating, all-encumbering decimation of his sense of self. He let her go because he loved her enough to come back.

She understood why it had been ten years. Because sometimes, that's what it took.

"Maybe we're ready to face it, now," she suggested, standing and fiddling with a bauble on the tree until it hung straight. "You weren't ready back then. Maybe I wasn't, either. But I can't have a secret relationship."

"I think I'm ready." He shook his head. "I _know_ I'm ready. My family's a pain, but if that's what you want, I'll do it. Today."

"That's the dealbreaker." She felt guilty for saying it, but she pushed it away. That's what happened the last time; she'd feel guilty for bringing up the uncomfortable _necessary_ bits, and he'd get away with it.

This time, it was going to be different, not just because he said it would, but because she would hold him accountable.

"What would you say," he began apprehensively as he stood to join her at the tree, "to a _second_ first date? At my family's Christmas dinner?"

Rose was caught off guard by her own, rather watery laugh.

"As long as you don't call it a first date," she replied. "Maybe it's a starter date. Before all the other dates to come."

"That's called a first date, Rose."

"All right, all right."

"And you'll make time for our dates," he said quietly, anxiously. He was suddenly in front of her, tugging on her hands, pulling her closer until he was wiping the welling in her eyes with his thumbs. "You'll make time for us. Won't you?"

"Yes." The guilt snagged under her skin with how much she'd neglected him back then. Despite the fact that she'd let him confront the details, she was suddenly overwhelmed by her own. "Yes. I will."

"And we'll try?" He was whispering now. "We could be together again?"

Rose couldn't help but hesitate, but when she nodded, she meant it.

"For what it's worth," she said softly, pressing her forehead onto his, "I've missed you. You knew I would. And I did."

His expression broke and he kissed her. It tasted like yesterday, but also tomorrow.

* * *

After sending a note to her family that Rose would be late for Christmas dinner—Scorpius made sure she included that he would be joining—and bundled up for the cold, Scorpius apparated them both to outside the gates of Malfoy Manor.

Rose, who almost always took the Floo to see her family, was immediately struck with the formality of it all. There was something about standing at the gates, watching Scorpius mutter some incantation, hearing the squeak and groans as the tall, menacing gates opened for them, urging them forwards along a windy path towards the Manor.

It was intimidating.

Rose had always struggled with her own family legacy, but this was on a whole other level.

"Are you sure about this?" Rose whispered as they approached the front door. Everything felt a lot more real now, and even though she'd been waiting _so long_ for this, she was suddenly panicking. "Maybe this isn't a good idea just now."

"Yes it is," he responded immediately.

"They might not like me."

" _I_ like you. Love you, in fact."

"That's not the same thing."

He looked at her sharply. "You're the only one who's ever accepted me as I am. You're not negotiable."

She bit her lip, still unsure.

"Listen," he said more quietly this time, arms sliding around her waist and tugging her closer. "I would lie in my dormitory in Hogwarts and imagine this. I planned out and rehearsed it in my head a thousand times. I _knew_ this was going to happen someday. I wasn't ready then, but…" He smiled sheepishly. "I made sure to remember the speech."

Rose laughed, and in that moment, she believed him.

"It doesn't matter what they say, anyway," he assured warmly, kissing her at her hairline. "We're not kids anymore."

When they approached the large doors and used the heavy brass knocker to thud loud echoes into the Manor, her heart was beating out of her chest. Even if she imagined this scenario a thousand times, even after they'd broken up, she never imagined the anticipation that was bubbling up alongside the nerves. Because this was the beginning to (probably?) forever. _This was it_.

Finally _._

When Mr. Malfoy opened the door, Scorpius clasped his hand with hers.

"Father, this is Rose," he said confidently. "My girlfriend."

* * *

A/N: The end :) Thank you so much for reading this, all. It honestly makes me so glad that you enjoyed this story I rampage-wrote over the holidays (and then slowly finished up between piles of work from the new year, lol). I'm not doing an epilogue for this but I can imagine Scorpius has grown up enough to handle what's to come for the two of them.

Hopefully you liked the ending and will want to follow my author profile so you can find out when the next story will be up! The next one is a soulmate au. Thanks again for reading :)


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